Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Story: The Prom Barter

"You knew I was going to wear those shoes tonight, Vinata!" shouted Kadru, her sister, from the other room.

Kadru, the eldest by only a few minutes, flung her sister's door open and stormed in the room. "Give them here," she shouted, motioning with her hand to hand them over. "I told you, they look better with my dress; besides you'll be taller than Kash if you wear them."

Kadru knew her sister was right about her being taller than Kash, her prom date, if she wore them but the last thing she wanted to do was admit that she was right.

"Fine, wear them for all I care.... I'll...just wear..." Kadru slowly inched towards Vinata's closet where she kept her shoes, "your Jimmy Choo's!" She grabbed the shoes quickly and rounded the corner of her door before Vinata even registered what happened.

"Hey! I was going to we.." Vinata stopped mid- sentence because she knew she could not wear two pairs of shoes and she had already taken her sister's. She had intended to wear her favorite Jimmy Choo high heels to prom but when she saw Kadru's she became jealous and wanted hers instead. Now Kadru not only had the prom date Vinata wanted but she had her favorite high heels too.

Vinata had always been jealous of her older sister. Even when they were children and people would tell Kadru how pretty and proper she was. Then all through grade school and into high school Kadru had always gotten better grades than Vinata and was praised by the teachers. Their senior year of high school, Vinata thought, "This is going to be my year." She had had a crush on Kash since freshman year and she had a plan to get him to ask her to prom. Then, just weeks before prom when Vinata was getting nervous about whether Kash was going to ask her or not, Kadru went running up to her and shouted with excitement, "Kash asked me me prom!!Ahhh!!"
Vinata couldn't help but show the disappointment on her face. Turns out Kash had taken advantage of his friendship with her to only get closer to the beautiful Kadru.
Of course Kash's friend Bobby asked her to prom the next day and when nominations for prom king and queen were announced the couples were to face off.

"The boys are here, Kadru!" Vinata shouted. As Kadru walked down the stairs she said to her sister, "How about we make a wager? Whoever loses prom queen tonight has to do the other's chores for the rest of the year."
Knowing the one thing she had more than Kadru was friends, Vinata said, "You have yourself a deal."

Once they reached the prom destination with their dates, Vinata started to dance and encourage her friends to vote for her for prom queen.

Kadru knew Vinata had more friends than her but being the more cunning sister she visited the voting station where a lower classman transfixed by Kadru sat. Without hesitation, the young boy let Kadru cast multiple votes for herself and she had him destroy the rest of the votes cast.

When the results were read at the end of the night and they announced Kadru and Kash as prom queen and king, Vinata could not believe her ears.

Now she must do double the chores for the rest of the year but Vinata knew one day things would fall in her favor.


Author's Note: In the original tale of King Janamejaya's Snake Sacrifice, King Kashyapa married two sisters by the names of Queen Kadru and Queen Vinata. They both took such good care of him, he granted both of them a wish. Kandru, the eldest, wished to be the mother of a thousand snakes and the younger sister, Vinata, wished to be the mother of two sons who were equal in strength to the thousand snakes. They both laid eggs and waited for them to hatch. When Kandru's eggs hatched, Vinata grew jealous and impatient because her eggs had not hatched yet. In haste she broke one of her eggs open and the boy inside was not ready to be born so he cursed his mother Vinata for being impatient.
Kadru then made a bet with Vinata that the horse's tail that rose from the sea foam when the gods were granted immortality was black. Vinata knew the tail was white for a fact so she agreed to the bet. When they went to see for themselves though, the tail was black and Vinata was enslaved to her older sister for the next five hundred years. Turns out Kadru had her snakes sneak to the horse before the sisters and had them cover the white tail to make it look black.
I wanted to follow the same story line somewhat but set in the modern times. I chose to have two quarreling sisters over prom in my story instead of quarreling about the strength of their children.
I think prom is a little more relatable since most people take part in that high school tradition. Also, even if one does not have a sister (like myself) I could imagine how annoying it would be to have my mind set on an outfit and for it to not be there when I went to look.

Bibliography: Tales from the Indian Epics. C.A. Kincaid. 1918.


7 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed reading your rendition of the story and how you made it into a modern one. I do feel sad that Vinata did not win. I can personally relate to her when it comes to feeling like you’re always one step behind somebody. You managed to relay her feelings to the audience very nicely. I enjoyed reading your story. Keep up the great work!

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  2. This is such a great story! Thank you so much for including what happened in the orginal story in your author's note. I have not read the tale so it was very easy for me to understand the situation after reading the author's note. I thought you did a fantastic job on adapting an ancient tale and popping it into a modern day scenario. Great job!

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  3. I love this story! It’s so relatable, whether or not you have a sister (I don’t, but I kind of know how this feels). It’s such great modern twist to the original story, which I haven’t read but now want to! I like that you put the queens into a modern day-prom scenario, since every girl knows how stressful it is to prepare for something like prom! And how horrifying it would be if part of your outfit was suddenly gone.
    Reading through it, I didn’t see any grammar or flow problems at all! So I can’t even give you decent negative feedback like I’m supposed to. The only thing I can think of is maybe including a picture of a pair of Jimmy Choo’s earlier in the story, but that’s really just an opinion thing.
    Great job and I’ll definitely come back to read more of your portfolio in the future!

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  4. I love this story! Prom is definitely way more relatable than trying to have the stronger children, haha. Thank you for including the story in the author's note too! The story you wrote did a pretty good job of outlining what I thought happened, but the context is very much appreciated. I just had a little comment at the beginning because I was a little confused by the dialogue about the shoes. I thought Kadru shouted at Vinata to give the shoes back at first but then Vinata ended up losing them? So if you could add names to who said what I think that would be really helpful! But overall great job and I love the concept!

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  5. Hey Candace! I really loved your modern take on this story. The only problem I really saw was at the beginning with the back and forth dialogue with the sisters. You definitely will want to get the sisters’ names straight for who is fighting over what. Your author’s note was super helpful because I haven’t read the original story so having that background made your new take make a lot more sense. I think that it sucks that Vinata couldn’t seem to get anything right, but I think that goes to show that not everyone gets what they want in life! I like the photo you chose to add to your story because it really gives a good image of where the prom event was being held for the high school. (Doesn’t that bring back some memories…) I can’t wait to read more of your stories!

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  6. What a sad story! I thought that in the end Vinata would have won the prom queen award but unfortunately she didn’t. I guess happy endings aren’t for everyone. I still enjoyed the story very much. It had great background knowledge to it and I even got into it so much I was rooting for Vinata. I love the picture as well, goes great with the mood.

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  7. I really enjoy this story! One thing that caught me up within the first couple of paragraphs was when Kadru mentions something about knowing her sister was right about her prom date being taller than her, but I thought it was Kadru that had said the thing about not wanting to be taller than the prom date! I think there are just a few sentences that could use a little clarification on who is talking or who is being referenced. I got a little confused a few times.. Otherwise I really enjoyed the story! It kind of reminded me of the movie Once Upon a Time with Drew Barrymore. Great movie if you haven't seen it by the way. I think you did a great job of meshing the original story with your prom theme and still getting the original story across! Great job, I look forward to reading more!

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